There is a question I think we should ask ourselves: do we want our children to be “offline,” or do we want them to “know how to use the internet”? Those are two very different things.
I once heard a parent sigh: “If I don’t let my child use a phone, I’m afraid they’ll fall behind in their studies, but if I let them use one, I’m afraid they’ll get lost in things I can’t control.” That is probably a shared sentiment.
Recently, proposals to restrict or even ban children from using certain platforms have been made, stemming from very real concerns: online bullying, scams, abuse, internet addiction… These are no longer distant warnings but are present in the life of every family.
However, upon closer look, we find ourselves facing a paradox: the very platforms that adults want to “ban” are the familiar learning tools for children. Today’s classroom is no longer confined to four walls. Homework is assigned via messaging apps, group discussions happen on social networks, and study materials are shared through messaging apps.
A student who is “cut off from the internet” is sometimes also cut off from the flow of learning. Therefore, the issue is no longer simply “should we ban it or not?” but rather a story of an era where the line between learning and playing, between useful and harmful, is no longer clear.
I believe the concerns of adults are real. But the “ban” reflex is often an instinctive one: when we can’t control something, we want to eliminate it. In reality, with the digital space, that is nearly impossible.
Children today are not growing up in a world “with the internet,” but in a world that “is the internet.” They are not stepping into a digital space; they are living in it. Therefore, prohibition is not about erecting a fence, but more like asking them not to step out of a reality that is already integral to them.
And what’s more, things that are absolutely forbidden often become more appealing. A child who is not explained to, not equipped, but simply blocked, is very likely to find a way around it. Using a different account, borrowing another device, or simply hiding it. In that case, adults lose control, and the child lacks the skills to protect themselves.
Consequently, the risk doesn’t disappear; it just becomes harder to see. In fact, if we ban rigidly, we also face another consequence: inequality.
A student in the city with multiple devices and channels of access can easily find alternatives. But a student in a disadvantaged area, who relies entirely on popular platforms to receive assignments and communicate with teachers, could be “left out” simply due to an administrative decision. Then, the story is no longer about protecting children, but unintentionally creating more distance.
But if we don’t ban, then what? Perhaps the answer doesn’t lie in a single measure, but in a different approach: shifting from “protection by barriers” to “protection by capability.” Instead of trying to control everything, help children learn how to control themselves.
A child who knows how to identify scams, distinguish real/fake information, and stop when they see themselves being drawn into meaningless content… will be much safer than a child who is simply banned. This cannot come from a moral lecture; it needs to be practiced.
At home, parents should not just be supervisors but need to become companions. Not saying “don’t use it,” but asking “what are you watching?” or “what do you think about this?” An open conversation is often more effective than any control app.
In schools, digital literacy should not just be a concept but needs to become part of substantive education: how to behave when faced with negative comments, how to protect personal information, how to manage screen time.
Regarding policy, instead of placing all responsibility on families and schools, it’s necessary to obligate technology platforms to be more responsible: dedicated child accounts, content controls, time limits, reducing addictive algorithms. Because ultimately, a child cannot fight against an entire system designed to retain users.
There is a question I think we should ask ourselves: do we want our children to be “offline,” or do we want them to “know how to use the internet”? Those are two very different things
