Combating domestic violence is not only a matter of law; it is also a test of compassion, social awareness, and how we understand the word “family.”

The video of a father using a slipper and his hands to hit his son in Phu An ward (Ho Chi Minh City) not only sparked outrage but also raised a question that is old yet never outdated: why does domestic violence keep repeating itself, even though laws exist, the media has spoken extensively, and society has clearly condemned it?

The answer does not simply lie with an individual who “lost their temper momentarily,” but within a psychological, cultural, and legal enforcement structure that is not strong enough to break the cycle of violence.

Violence disguised under seemingly reasonable excuses

Here, we need to look directly at the fact that violence is often disguised under seemingly reasonable excuses.

In the Phu An case, the father claimed he “was worried the child would run into the dangerous road, so he hit him.” A genuine concern, but the reaction was violence. This is a common “blind spot”: many people believe that beating is a method of discipline, that “sparing the rod spoils the child” is normal.

But psychological science has proven the opposite. Children who experience violence do not learn right from wrong; they learn fear. Fear can create immediate obedience but leaves long-term trauma, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and even repeating violent behavior in adulthood. A slap today can be the seed of a cycle that spans generations.

Not only with children, but violence between spouses also follows the same mechanism. Many victims choose silence, do not report, and even ask to “let it go” or “compromise” with the abuser.

This is not uncommon, as seen in a recent case in Phu Khe ward, Bac Ninh province, where a wife was beaten but did not request legal action against her husband. This silence is often not due to forgiveness, but because of fear, economic dependence, or pressure to “keep the family together.” This silence unintentionally becomes “fertile ground” that nurtures violence.

Once violent acts are not dealt with seriously, or are only met with “warnings and education,” a very dangerous message is sent: that violence can be tolerated. And as many reader opinions have warned, if not handled strictly, this behavior will continue, even escalate.

Vietnam has the Law on Prevention and Control of Domestic Violence (amended in 2022) with many progressive points: expanding the concept of violence, strengthening emergency protection measures, and emphasizing the role of the community. However, the gap between law and reality remains large. Many cases are only discovered when clips go viral online. This shows that early detection and intervention mechanisms are still weak.

Not just a private family matter

To find a way out of this problem, the most necessary step is to change awareness at the root. We must firmly state that violence is not an educational method, not a “family matter,” and certainly not a way to resolve conflicts. This is not just an ethical issue; it is a legal violation.

Education on positive parenting and emotional management needs to be integrated into community

Phu An ward (Ho Chi Minh City)

Phu An is a ward located in Binh Tan District, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Historically, it was part of a rural area that underwent rapid urbanization during the city’s expansion in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Today, it is a densely populated residential and industrial area, reflecting the dynamic growth of Ho Chi Minh City’s outskirts.

Phu Khe ward (Bac Ninh province)

Phu Khe ward is a historic cultural site in Bac Ninh province, Vietnam, known for its traditional craft villages and deep-rooted heritage. It is particularly famous for producing Đông Hồ folk paintings, a centuries-old art form that originated in the region and reflects the cultural identity of the Red River Delta. The ward’s history is closely tied to these traditional crafts, which have been preserved and passed down through generations, making it a key destination for exploring Vietnamese folk culture.

Law on Prevention and Control of Domestic Violence (amended in 2022)

The Law on Prevention and Control of Domestic Violence (amended in 2022) is a Chinese legal framework that expands protections for victims of domestic abuse, including clearer definitions of violence and stronger enforcement mechanisms. Originally enacted in 2016, the amendment broadens the scope to cover non-physical abuse, such as economic control and psychological harm, and mandates greater cooperation between police, courts, and social services. It reflects China’s ongoing efforts to address domestic violence as a serious social issue, though implementation challenges remain.